Pesach… it’s an event that I never really understood fully as a child… I never really gave it any significance to anything “spiritual” at all… but it’s quite possibly one of the more spiritual days in the history of time…
Some call it Passover, but we always called it Easter. When I was growing up in “Midwest”, we had some CRRRRRAZY Easter Egg hunts. All my cousins and I still hunted eggs at family get togethers when we got to be older enough to walk to and from school alone. We also got smarter. Our parents used to get SUPER crafty with some of the eggs, and even go as far out to put $50 bills in an Easter Egg that was enough next to impossible to ever find (as in buried in the dirt, under the fallen logs), but we used to love trying to find it. To me… Easter was just another good time with the family.
It wasn’t until I was older until I began to understand the significance of religious holidays and become more aware of what “belonging” to a particular religion really meant. It wasn’t until about 2 years ago… that I actually experienced it.
I was in a very very bad place then… I had really hit rock bottom. I had a job I hated, I was single, depressed. hurt, confused, and absolutely exhausted with life…
Then someone introduced me to Kabbalah.
Now, I’m not saying I’m a Kabbalist, I’m just saying…
As I started to listen to what the real message was, the true meaning of what Kabbalah really is… I started to feel like the world was making sense in ways I never knew it could. It was probably a few weeks after getting more acclamated with Kabbalah principles that I learned about “Pessah”. How these ancient teaching believe there is a greater force… and energy that literally grows stronger around this time of year.
There are actually starcharts that map the alignments of certain stars at that time, evidence of anomolys happening near that time of year in the history of human existence, and possibily beyond… but so what? Kabbalah doesn’t teach about alien being or golden gates, it doesn’t teach about how a man slayed giants or how to starve yourself until you hallucinate on the mountain tops, it teaches more about self… and the purpose of life… its not a religion at all, its like… like an enlightenment.
No matter what your religion is, Kabbalah can show you how to be better at it. It teaches of tools to control your own destiny, to live well, live… fulfilled. It’s not about dropping to your knees every night and begging for forgiveness or that job you interviewed for… it about being better at being you, and more or less rubbing off on other people.
Ok, so it’s not exactly the most profound way of putting it… but I really don’t think the English language has the words to describe it in its entirety.
I recall learning about the power of Pesach just days before it was to cycle again.
I laid in my bed, just dying inside, trying to make my broken life work again. Broke, single, heartbroken, and jobless with car problems.
That’s when it happened…
it was about 4:30am, and I woke up from a sleep that I had IMMENSE difficultly reaching…
but I wasn’t the same as I had been when I fell asleep.
For some reason, I could literally feel all the garbage I had been carrying, all the pain and anguish that I was COATED in, all the LACK and all the pain…
I swear on a Stack of “Bible-Koran-Torah-whatevers” that I felt like the world was pure beauty.
Staring at the same ceiling I was staring at before I closed my eyes… yet somehow everything had changed.
I recall the moment well…
how often does one have such moments in their life?
I believe that many many people… never do.
It was an extremely personal experience that I won’t even attempt to textualize, and while I still may have an against-the-grain perception on religion, I definitely felt the magic.
When Pesach occurs, the “Darknesses” in your life are illuminated by “The Light”. The darkness being worry, guilt, doubt, sorrow, all that brings negative energy and saps the positive… all that… that crap…
all the garbage..
When you can “Light” your “darkness”, you can move past it and find peace with that aspect of your life… learn from it, and let it go.
Not forget about it… but just let it go.
This year, Easter snuck up on me. I hadn’t realized I would have to work that day since it was part of my regular schedule. I really did NOT want to go into work, I was late on a homework assignment and I just did not feel like going in. There have not been many times I’ve felt like that recently, since I’ve been all about making money lately… but this Easter Sunday was one of them.
I was on my 5th or 6th delivery I believe, when I pulled up to a little multiplex with 3 guys hanging out in the little 4 car parking lot. Nice day outside. Broad daylight. I was off in world thinking about work and my next run. The tall guy said he was going to run into the house to get the money real quick after patting his empty pockets for his wallet. He told me he would be right back, so I stood outside my car door and waited for him.
As I turned to shut my driver side door, I was struck on the left temple. Whatever it was, it was kind of hard, but not enough to knock me down or anything, I still had pizza in my right hand. I turned to my left, after seeing a flash of white light, and there was a 4th guy standing there with his fists up, like he was about to punch me. Again.
My first thought was, “What the hell was that?”, My second thought was, “Did this guy just hit me?” and the third think I thought was “WHAT THE FUCK MAN?” in my most pissed off voice.
I said that part out loud.
This guy, a little bigger than me, maybe 25 or so, was giving me some line about how he just wants the pizzas because he’s hungry.
Little does he know, we give free pizzas away to scammers all the time. He didn’t have to try to beat me up for a pizza.
Seeing as how he wanted the pizza,
he got coated in their order for one cheese,
and one pepperoni too.
We were kind of busy back at the shop at the time, so they weren’t as hot as I would have liked them to be, but it still bought me some time to figure out if these other 3 guys were about to jump in too.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed 911 and left it dialing in my pocket without pulling it out.
Me and the lamest pussy I’ve ever met continued to square each other up, he lunged at me a few times, and I pushed him away and blocked is pathetically slow attempts to punch me again.
After I noticed the other 3 guys ran off, and it was just me and him standing there, I figured it was cool if I got on the phone now. I started talking to the 911 operator while the guy looked around and used up his last brain cell to decide to start running away.
I was taken aback by how big of an asshole my 911 operator was, so I started to follow the guy who hit me on foot, when I said, “I’m going to track him down and tell you where he’s at” as the 911 operator made a half assed attempt to tell me not to do that.
I got back to my car and drove to the end of the block. I was going to head down a different street to try and see where he was going. It was a fairly small area without a lot of places to run and hide. That’s when I saw a Police car.
“WOW”, I thought, “a cop when I need one!”
I rolled into the driveway he was parked in, and started telling him there was a bunch of guys who just tried to rob me…
Running through the woods…
Less than 1000 feet away…
They called for backup, which got there about a minute or two later and the cops had no luck in catching any of them. All 6 cruisers. And people wonder why I love Tampa…
Apparently the reason the cop was right there in the first place was because the same guys tried to do the same thing with another pizza guy just moments before.
I was bleeding from my left eyebrow, I’m not sure if he had a ring on or what. He had to have hit me at an extreme angle to cut me right there. It didn’t really hurt, it was just more of a stun than anything.
I was pissed off when I found out that the 3 guys snatched the other delivery I had in the car while I was “engaged”.
While I was glad to have gotten out of the situation with only a minor injury, I was FUMING angry about it all. I guess that happens when some punk ass sneaks up on you and hits you in the face while you are at work.
I wouldn’t know though… not until now anyway. I’ve been doing this job for about 9 years, on and off. Ever since I started going to college, I’ve ended up finding my way back into this job. Never have I had an incident like this. But on an Easter Sunday… at 7pm, broad daylight, in a decent neighborhood… somebody tried to fight me for pizza?
People are strange…
I’d never seen a naked girl on delivery either up until last year at 6pm on a Tuesday, she opened the door… butt-nekkid.. and even flashed the booty at me before she shut the door.
That was stunning as well.
Perhaps even more so.
After a few days of reflection, and my temper subsided…
I got to thinking… that as much as I really did want to straight up, all out, no holes barred, death cage match fight that guy after him hitting me from behind like that… the fact that I had cash in my pocket, and… well… “more than I’m supposed to have” in my wallet, and my car was still running… and there were 4 of them… I guess I did the right thing.
Life has taught me to try and slow things down when I get angry. I was pretty pissed off… and I kept chanting in my head, “Don’t be stupid, Don’t be stupid…”. Had I tried to fight the guy, I may have lost money, personal property, or time at work. Over what?
The whole ordeal with the police questions and man hunt took about 35 minutes. I went back to work and finished my shift to make over $80 that night. So I only lost about 3 or 4 deliveries and a few drops of blood out of the ordeal…
But it did get me thinking…
As much as I like doing the job sometimes, I feel a calling for….
It’s odd to me to have that happen like that… but I quit believing in “coincidence” awhile back. Things aren’t so random; the universe has many patterns…
And they are beautiful.
This incident has made me realize that I am earning a living by exposing myself to risks that I seem to avoid 99.99999% of the time. It’s those incidents that I don’t avoid that are what makes it no longer worth my focus.
While this job serves me to pay the bills at the present time, perhaps this is the universes way of telling me, “The Time To Act Is Now” (The Universe always speaks with a first-letter-capitalized omniscience).
While some of us are plenty capable of listening to what the world is telling us,
For some of us,
it takes a hit to the head to start listening.