Taco Bell Changed My Life

How Taco Bell Literally Changed My Life Forever

When I was 16, my life went through more changes than ever before.  I had my first REAL girlfriend, I started smoking ganja every so often, I wasn’t the ideal mediocre student that I was in all my years before, I had broken away from my affliction with Video Games, yet… I still had no life.My life consisted of muddling through the days at school, when I felt like getting up in the morning, and fucking my girl afterwards..  that was about all I ever did really.  We would go out to the Mall every Friday night and sometimes watch a movie..  I lived a modest life, but I was very conflicted and miserable at the same time..

We All Die Eventually. The Goal ins't to live forever, the goal is to create something that willWhile I have to admit that I looked forward to turning 16 for many years… just to be able to DRIVE, I ended up changing my tune when I came to realize that it was going to be a huge financial burden on my single mother to buy me a car and pay the insurance on it for me given the fact that I had no job..

After a few weeks of being 16, I had come to the conclusion that me getting a job was the only way for me to get out from under the moodiness of my mother.  In hindsight I can understand where she got tired of going and getting my girl… or driving me to my friends houses, and the like immediately after she had driven through the ENDLESS traffic in Cincinnati all the way home to Fairfield and after being at work all day… probably looking forward to nothing more than sitting on her ass and watching TV for the rest of the night.  We used to battle it out, and often, as do all parents and children in a similar scenario..  but one day in particular lit a fire on my ass that got me to get my best friend Ben to get me an application where he worked…

Taco Bell.

I started working there towards the end of April 1996, at the time I was still having issues in high school with getting to class on time, and staying out of trouble.  I was forever late to school, causing me to be suspended… always getting caught with my pager – and in my school, that was an automatic Saturday School for just HAVING it on you.  Stupid shit like that had me constantly in hot water with a principal that had already attempted to expel me from Middle School.  He transferred to the High School the same year I advanced.  I’ve always had that kind of luck..

For me to have a job meant that I could drive moms car as long as I had her permission of course..  and being 16 and driving a BRAND NEW leased 1996 Toyota Corolla LX 5 speed Gold package with moon roof and 12 disc changer… OooOoo life was good.  I beat the hell out of that car, hahaha.

Eventually, my friends all caught on that I was now mobile after school, and it was a lot of fun back then..  sure I had to work like 25 hours a week, but it was a small price to pay for the freedom that I got from it.  I was meeting all kinds of new people, and having all sorts of life changing experiences on almost a daily basis.

With my zeal for life at an all time high, I began to turn my life around for the better.  Sure I was smoking twice as many cigarettes as I ever had, and getting high on nearly a daily basis, not to mention fucking up my driving record with REALLY BAD speeding tickets, but I was also passing almost all my classes instead of failing all of them, I was working more hours because everyone wanted me to work on their shifts at work, it wasn’t long before 25 hours a week… turned into 50.  I’m not sure how they Labor board never caught on to the 16-17 year olds working at Taco Bells until 4:30am in the morning every night of the week, but they never said shit…  nor did my mother, since all I did was sign over my paychecks to her every payday.  It is also supposed to be illegal for anyone under 18 to get overtime…  but I’ve never been big on rules.

Eventually, I was working more than I went to school, I was riding high on the new minimum wage increase from $4.25/hr to $4.75/hr to $5.15/hr and I began to skip school a lot more often.. mom would car pool in the mornings and leave her car keys, while I would pretend to be awake lonG enough to get in the shower when she left for work in the morning and I’d just go right back to bed..  I was such a little bastard.

It was only a matter of time before me and a select group of renegade friends would hang out during the “Skip Days” of my second sophomore year.  on days that we couldn’t get the car and go driving around Southwestern “Midwest”, we could get really high and play guitar!  Mom was so cool… she knew what was up probably more than half the time.. but she played dumb.  If only I would have realized it then… she had her shitty moments, but in the grand scheme of things… she was awesome.

As time went on… and I kept fucking up in school… and my girl and i were having MAJOR issues, I decided to quit working so many hours all the time, and try to focus more on school.  I hated high school PASSIONATELY, I hated the asshole teachers, and the bullshit drama, and the shit talking bad asses, I hated them all..  and worst of all, I used to hate myself.  So what do you do when you are stuck going back to being a “typical student” because the state says you missed too many days of school and you lost your license until you get your shit back on track?


I’ll never forget my classic “I’m on Lithium” Taco Bell name tag.  I wonder what ever happened to that anyway…

I eventually had an… episode or two… or three maybe..  before I finally had enough of the bullshit and found a way out of “good kids school” and landed in the “alternative school”.  When I went to the “intervention” for the “ALT” the principal, Mrs. W, of the Alternative program looked me right in the eye and she said, “You will come in at 8am (instead of 7:20am like regular high school) and you will leave at 11:40am.  You will be required to work at least 12 hours a week and that will be considered credit towards your class time.  If you work 24 hours a week you will be receiving double credit.  You will get two 5 minute breaks between your classes, you will be allowed to smoke on the premises under supervision.”

I’m sitting there…in total shock that the City of fucking “Farmfield” would even allow this sort of thing….  I get out before all these other assholes are even done with their lunch, I get to take 2 smoke breaks??! AND I get extra credit for working extra hours?  Shit…  “Where do I sign?”

Part of the breakdown that caused the intervention was a result of me finding out that the love of my life… was moving to her moms… in Colorado.  The rest I’ll have to save for another blog..  That was a rough time for me.

Some time passed, and I eventually became sick and tired of the Taco Bell I was working at on Hauck Road in Sharonville (that fucking shit hole…) and I found out through my former manager Amy, who had transferred to Brookwood Taco Bell, that the Taco Bell she was at paid $6 an hour to closers and she would be my manager throughout the week.  Bad Ass.  An 85 cent raise instead of a 3 cent raise AND I can get high at work.


Her Name was Amanda and she was a hottie - Taco Bell Changed My LifeThat…. is when I met the most scandalous little whore I’ve ever met in all my life.  Her name was Amanda.. and she was a hottie.  It didn’t take long before we were making out in the parking lot… and about 2 weeks later I was sleeping over at her place.

At the time in my life all this had happened I had lost my license… to the State & 2 different Counties.

all at the same time.


so for her to have a car made it nice for me… and the sex was fucking incredible… oh my GOD it was good.  Something about making 8 wet spots the first time she ever had an orgasm made me form a special bond with her..  I mean I’d had some good sex before, but this girl was hands down amazing..

unfortunately..  she was getting a lot of practice I didn’t know about.

but I didn’t figure that out till later…  much much later…

see..  working at Taco Bell changed my life in many many ways…

but none compared to what I’m about to tell you.

After working there for a few months together, we both made up our minds that we were sick of all the other assholes that worked there and we both ended up getting jobs at the Tumbleweed restaurant right down the street.  My mom’s cousin was the big shot manager there and she got us hired  (more small town bullshit).  I’m not sure what relation that makes her to me.. nor do I really care.

Around Christmas time..  we started to realize that our families were totally fucked up.

Her mom and dad had just been divorced for a little over a year and her dad was going to end up spending most of Christmas alone..  My mom had already done her usual Christmas morning thing with me… so… she was just going to spend the evening watching TV and maybe playing Solitaire on the computer (She was the SHIT at some Solitaire… I never could beat her best score..)  Well..  I’m not real sure whose bright idea it was… but somehow or another, and I believe it was her dad’s suggestive powers, my mom and her dad, Greg, got together and had a sort of “Christmas Date”..

long story short..

they got married about 6 months later…

that was right after the Colorado Getaway


I was fucking my step-sister.

How Midwest Is That? paris tuileries garden facepalm statue

How “Midwest” is that?

I’ve always had that kind of luck..

It’s odd how something as slight as working at a certain place can affect your life and everyone elses so drastically.


As of late I’ve began to realize that I am for more important than I give myself credit. I typically look at myself as a little fish in a big pond, but it’s a small world after all. It’s strange how its taken me almost 7 years to realize it.

Most people have the problem of thinking they are much bigger than they are…

I don’t WANT to be important, I just want to be acknowledged.  I suppose it’s kind of funny…  when you really think about it, but it’s only funny when it’s not you.  Sure… things got a little fucked up along the way… and even today my life is drastically effected by the chain of events that were spawn from my employment at Taco Bell.  Yet, it truly highlights the idea that some people are just prone to tragedy, as well as others who are prone to pain… and even those that live a charmed life often have such patterns.  Maybe I didn’t get the Lions Share of luck in the gene pool of the cosmos, but I got a big dick, a long tongue, and a lot of passion.

I’d like to believe that no matter where you come from, there is always hope of breaking out of old patterns..  I like who I am fundamentally..  but in the past I’ve almost always put others first.  Especially the women in my life…

But that’s it. How Taco Bell Changed My Life.

Now I’ve just got to start living my life.. for me, and only me.

Like I always say..

Hakuna Matata

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