Rearview Mirror

I knew the day would come…

The day I look back at my old blogs and reflect on my life and what it has become.

It’s like looking in your rearview mirror while you’re going a buck twenty down an empty highway… This is how it began.

Blogs… the Genesis of My MySpace.

Part of me is disappointing that much of the same plight that I had almost an entire year ago still haunts me… I still have the same affliction for women in distress, I still have Midwest house drama, I still haven’t found my way into a house of my own here down in The South…

I’m still single… but I have come so far. I have become so much more aware of what it happening in the moment.

It doesn’t take me months to sort it out anymore, but a few days at the most… I have evolved. I understand myself better than I ever have, I understand that I am flawed and temperamental, that I have emotions… feelings… I have a soul, I have my moments of indecisiveness, the pangs of loneliness and doubt, the cold shallowness of the vindictive asshole I hide deep inside… I am a man with strengths and weakness… I’m completely amazed at my own ability to capture the moments of my life in this corny ass blog. I look back at how I felt… how I thought… what was happening… and I smile. I can actually smile about it. You can only hope that day will come… so when it does, you’ve GOT to appreciate it.

Maybe I’m at a low point right now… with everything going wrong for me all at once. But I’m still smiling.

This too shall pass…

I wonder how many people actually take the time to go back and read my old shit… how many people will actually want to get to know me that well? how many people can relate? how much can I teach… how much can I learn I know…

I’m a dork. Fuck it.

I want to understand myself… I want to understand the universe… but at the same time, I want to experience the magic. When a situation develops… like the whole Tennessee incident, or maybe one of my other tales about how I brought home a girl and the drama that is sure to ensue… I like to make sense out of the whole thing. I like to take something with me when I walk away from the table. To me, every girl I’ve ever been with is special in some way or another…

well…

90% of them anyway

-ahem-

The way I love a woman… it’s not “I loved her more.” or “I love you less” but each relationship has its own unique place in my heart. Everyone is special. That’s just the way I am. I’m putting my old intro up into a blog… again. here it comes: Life… is good. Even though I have no consistency or direction right now… I wouldn’t have it any other way. As the days go by and life’s little issues seem to come in handfuls, I realize that one of these days I’ll look back on where I am now and smile. I’ve got no idea what compels me to rant and rave on this website…

I’m practically a MySpace Whore… it seems to be my only medium of true self expression. I do get some awkward satisfaction out of posting a detailed description of the snapshot of life that gets posted to my blog regularly, and I’ve actually had someone make my day by posting a comment to my profile and blog entries. Sad perhaps… but fact. As I go through each day digging myself deeper and deeper into a sleep deficit, racking the miles up on my BADASS VW, going on spontaneous and ill-advised road trips, I have come to see that I struggle to find my place in this world.

What the hell am I doing delivering pizza when I have a Bachelor of Science Degree?

Gettin’ PAID!

-grin-

Sad reality is that even though I have an education I had to dedicate 3 full years of my life to, I make more money doing what I do… I’m just that fucking good at it. I like to think that I’m learning myself more and more each day.

I’m striving toward mastering the art of Me.

It’s a project that I’ve affectionately called “The Pizza Man Experiment” I like to keep a few fresh pictures of me and my crazy antics in the photo rotation and it makes my dick hard when a girl will actually take the time to read my blogs and post a comment. I’m a huge fan of cats and animals in general… I like to show off my baby girls because they are all the pussy in life I need.

They love me back just as much, I just don’t understand why sometimes…

I clear off a lot of my “non-active” friends from time to time, so if you used to be on my list and you aren’t anymore, it’s nothing personal, just write me.

My friends kick ass, add me if you want to kick ass too.

Comment my posts or message me directly, should you feel compelled to get to know your pizza man. Whom I’d like to meet: Real People with flaws and issues. You know who you are…

#18241769

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