I’m looking back on my old posts and the types of things that used to plague my mind…
Hindsight is always 20/20… But Lookin’ Back, It’s Still a Bit Fuzzy…
From the single-ness, to the asshole uncle roommate, and then to “The Midwest Effect” and I can see that I have definitely turned a corner in life. I still put up with peoples shit perhaps more than I should, but sometimes fighting it doesn’t get you anywhere… and sometimes, it does. We all have to make stands in life if we want justice for ourselves. People will trample over you with their own selfishness without any consideration. Most of my issues stem from people being selfish, be it the ex girlfriends that had no regard for my feelings, the full of SHIT uncle, the boss’s at both my jobs that want me to cater to them, they all have little or no regard for what I need and want.
I’m not really sure why, but I am far less passive in the last few weeks than before. Perhaps it’s because my life is slowly becoming more manageable with me being off work for a few weeks and living some place I don’t have to worry about dumb shit and walk on pins and needles just to get along. Maybe driving the Beetle is so much fun that I’m a more relaxed individual, with less worries… maybe I’m just getting back to normal after some time away from my usual daily grind and the vacation is finally turning into relaxation now that I’m home… what ever it is, I love it.
It feels great to be me right now.
It’s funny how my aura can change without me even realizing it, for better or worse. I can’t tell you exactly when I began to become so bitter and angry, or when I began to enjoy being me again, but I’m here… now… “The Pizza Man Experiment” is underway. Seeing people I haven’t seen in awhile in the Midwest, and meeting new people from all over the place… It’s perfect study material to compare and contrast past, present, and future. I can pick up on the body language and feel the vibes… the key element to my little experiment is that I have to be my crazy self and not try to be fake or shady.
I’m proud to be who I am, and I’m not going to misrepresent myself just because I fear someone will not appreciate my honesty. I’m done being the quiet guy in the corner, life is not a spectator sport.
The Pizza Man Experiment is almost therapeutic for me considering that it gives being myself a whole new and unique purpose.