Get Over It

Get Over It - Straight Between the Eyes

There are 3 words that James Arthur Ray spoke at the seminar he gave last night in front of the 700 people that showed up to hear what he had to say in person.

He spoke of how people create limits for themselves and have issues, known and unknown, holding them back from realizing the enlightened beings we already are.  There are so many things we put contingencies upon…  So many thoughts that thwart our progress…  so many excuses that we have justified the LACK in our lives…

So many reasons we need to be healed…

I had one of the best days of my life yesterday.

Nothing all that spectacular took place, nothing extraordinarily exciting or adventurous…

It was just a great day to be alive.

Yesterday was the first day I’ve had off in a over a week, working both day and night shifts at 3 different stores on 2 sides of the Bay during some rough times to help them through it and make some extra cash to recoup the expenses of moving and a new front axle.  I slept in most of the day after staying up late with my dude, and having a “guys night” out so to speak.  It was our friend Bill’s birthday, and he asked me to come work out with him before he had to go into work.  On my way to meet him, I stopped and got him a modest gift for the special occasion.  I felt all kinds of awesome being of a giving spirit; I admittedly need far more such occasions in my life.

We had a great workout, and followed it up with getting one of the last 2 car loads of my stuff from my old room at my friends place.  Yes… it’s been a month today that I moved into my new place and I’m STILL not done… Almost, but… well… I’ve got a million excuses why I haven’t finished getting all my stuff out yet…. It’s just that now that it’s been a whole month, none of them are any good.

I came home to start some laundry and unpack the stuff I’d bought from my old place, and began getting ready for Mr. James Ray to speak live right in my neck of the woods… in a hotel that I’ve made countless deliveries too.  Strange how different the perspective is when you are a guest and not on someone’s time clock…

He had some many great things to talk about, he pegged so many issues within each of us, within himself, and within society as a whole.  He gave me a terrific sense of worldliness when he shared his thoughts and perspectives as they often mirrored my own.  Considering all the places he has studied and explored, all the cultures he’s been exposed to, and all the life lessons that he’s experienced, I felt as thought I was doing very well for myself considering I’m just a pizza guy living in a studio apartment, surviving paycheck to paycheck.

There were points of the lecture where I felt as though he were talking directly to me…  he spoke of phenomena such as “zero-point energy” and how everything has “frequency”.  He even got into gory details about the 2 conflicting theories about how energy is transferred.  He spoke of the differences Einstein and Bohr have with “Waves vs. Particles” and how the “observer effect theory” works.  FASCINATING STUFF!!!!  And the general crowd of people there didn’t show up for a science lesson… yet here he was, discussing all these wonderful topics that I’ve been mulling over and over in my head for MONTHS now, some of it, only weeks….  But he told what he knew about it on this day…

I’ve got to say that’s not the first time I’ve felt like I was EXACTLY where I was meant to be in that instant in time.

Especially…  when he was pitching his “Harmonic Wealth Weekend”.

He spoke of “showing the door to success” and how it was up to me to open it… he spoke of how there are blocks that we impose upon ourselves that keep us from realizing our true potential…

Man….

He couldn’t be more right.

And it hit me in the face just a few short moments ago…

I was called in for about 2 hours late this morning to help out through a busy lunch rush.  After I got home, I began working on getting “settled in” as I have yet to get all my stuff into my new place, let alone unpack all the boxes… I don’t have to be into work until 6pm tonight at my “home” store, so I figured I would knock out some laundry and try to get a little closer to being totally “moved in”.

As I sift through all these articles in which I posses, everything I own is now condensed into a space less than 600 square feet…  including many articles of my past… things that I just didn’t have the heart to throw away years ago…

I’ve found old letters from cute girls that used to write me by hand… one actually sent me actual photos through the mail!  What a difference MySpace makes…

(Where ever you are April, I continue to wonder what could have been, haha.)

I found clothes that I’ve never actually even worn, and old favs, like my black corduroy pants! Score!

I’ve found many many mementos of many past lives…  from hair clips to photos from theme park rides, to newspapers with pertinent articles of people whom I know…  obituaries…
But there was one thing in particular, that brought me to my knees…

One of Mom’s original Last Will and Testaments.

Most of the content is very dry, blah blah call this person, call that person, Don’t forget to feed the cats, and so and so should handle such and such affairs, yadayada…

But then…

There is that one page… with a letter to me.

I was only 15 when she wrote it, and since she had revised it many times as the circumstances to her “estate” had changed dramatically upon the time of her death…

But my grandmother found it and gave it to me because she thought I would want to have it.

 

“My only son, My only child, My best friend, My favorite person, My Inspiration.

I don’t even know what to say.  My love for you is beyond words.
You truly have always been my inspiration.  You have truly given me the will to live.  You are the light of my life.

I know you will miss me, but you must carry on.  You are a big brother now, you are also a very gifted young man in very special ways.  Please utilize all that God has given you. God has given you very special qualities that I have always been grateful for.  You are truly blessed.

Please know that I will watch over you always, please also know that I will always love you.

Also, I’ll give your Uncle Bobby a hug for you, I’ll also tell Kurt Cobain hello.

I am at peace now, I am with God.  I’ll be sure to thank God for allowing you to be my son.  I am so proud of you.

With more than love, and with more than words.

Your mom,

Muvs.”

 

I could read it a million times… and be the same blubbering hot mess that I am right now…
I spent so long trying to make her desired to come true… I wanted to make the house that’s now in foreclosure proceedings to work…  I wanted to land that great job and have mom tout about how her son works for Intel, or some lucrative Dot Com, I wanted to meet a terrific woman and give her some grandchildren…  there are so many things I want to do…  to make her proud of me…  I don’t want to let her down…

Fuck…

But I sat there in a pile of pity, clutching a 13 year old letter in my hand thinking about all the time and energy I spent to make the words on the paper I was reading come true…  about how many “poor me” thoughts came through my mind, how much anger and resentment I had because I was robbed of a mother figure in my adult life… how I’ll never get to introduce my future wife to my Mom, how my kids would never have a grandmother…  How hard it was to learn how to walk on my own, because I thought I’d always have Mom back home to lean on if times got tough…  how I lost my safety net…

Then those 3 words hit me…

Square between the eyes.

I began to see the effects…  the injury… the damage done…

And the healing I needed to do.

“Get Over It.”

It’s something Mom herself would have told me, as she had said many many times in her life.  She would speak about a hard obstacle in her life, and say “Get Over It, Get Over It.” As she bounced up and down singing a few lines of the popular The Eagles tune to me.

Get Over It.

We as Americans sit and piss and moan about $4 a gallon for gas when Europe pays about $8 per gallon, we sit and moan because we don’t have the glamour lives we see on television, yet OVER HALF the WORLD lives off of about $2 a day!!!!

Seriously….

I’ve fallen into such traps, I admit it…

But I AM truly blessed…  my life is amazing, my friends are awesome, I LOVE the area that I live in…

And I’m fortunate to have an incredible mother that’s proud of me, in everything I do… that watches over me twenty four seven and loves me… always, and forever.

#420501904

Comments

comments

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*