The Distance


As wild of a ride these past few months have been… and as many victories and defeats I’ve experienced…. my situation still remains the same..

At least I’ve got a great big smile on my face.

And I still have hope…

My court date for the civil suit against me was the a month ago… 2:30pm in the chambers of the (Dis)honorable Judge of the hoe-dunk County Courthouse…


It could have been worse though, Judge Spaz apparently moved up in the world and was one of the 6 judges that could have gotten my case. The last time I saw him, I was arguing the point that I thought it to be ridiculous that I had to go to court 3 fucking times over ONE of my windows having tint that in my old shitty Nissan back in High School. He said “Son, You better hope I don’t see you in my court room again.”

I do indeed…

but that’s a different story all together…

apparently Judge P isn’t exactly a “nice guy” either, many a friends of mine tell the tales of incarceration at the gavel of Sir Pater at the proverbial top of his VERY High and Mighty Horse…

My scruffy bearded, long haired, pizza delivering, (Pro Se’) Self Representing ass wouldn’t stand a chance up against the powers of the mighty M&F Law Firm that opposed me… Which Spathe was apparently a partner of before he became a judge…


The more I tried to mount a defense for myself, the more I realized….

I don’t stand a chance.

The court system isn’t based on what is fair and what is just… haha, God no… The system is based on politics, relationships, image, and most importantly…


Who has it, and who is willing to spend it and where and what it’s being spent on.

I have a loathing for politics, I have no relationships in the County Court System (nor a desire for any), I have the WORST POSSIBLE image to the court, and I sure as shit don’t have the kind of money I need to have any pull. If I did, I wouldn’t be in this whole fucking mess in the first place.

I’m being sued over not paying a loan on the house that I inherited from my mother passing away in 2002. There are 2 loans on the property, one in my name, and one in my former step-fathers name. When I realized that not paying his loan would alleviate a few hundred dollars a month worth of stress off my back, I said…. fuck it. It’s HIS loan, let HIM pay it.

He didn’t like that much…. but look at the situation… he and my mom bought that house together, and he’s pretty much slithered his way out of paying for ANYTHING. No bills in her name that they created TOGETHER, no funeral expenses, no electric bills for the property, no attorney expenses in regards to the legal matters of Mom’s estate.

Not one fucking cent.

So fuck him.

His response?

He sued me.

I was in my old hometown for Christmas… it’s become a tradition, I don’t think I’ve ever once missed a Christmas in the Midwest for 25 years. While I was there, I spoke of the matter with my family. They have no monetary help to offer me, and in truth, I don’t really want that kind of help, If I’m going down, I’m not dragging everyone with me… especially the people I love. I listened to the frantic rants of my grandmother talk herself in circles with the usual “Woulda Shoulda Coulda” bullshit. But look man… No matter what is and what is not, I STILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS BULLSHIT I’M IN. No amount of wishy washy bullshit is going to make that go away. While I may seem disrespectful to Grammy on the issue, I’m far more realistic and intelligent than that. It was becoming very apparent.. I needed an attorney.

Real Fucking Bad.

After calling around and getting dozens of numbers and referrals to local attorneys, something magical happened…

Dad got a D.U.I.

I hate to make light of the situation, but sometimes things happen for a reason… Dad is the WORST drinker I have EVER met. He can get shit faced off about 2 or 3 beers to the point to where he has little or no motor skills to light his own cigarettes let alone drive a vehicle. I love my dad dearly, but part of loving someone is accepting them for who they are, flaws and all. And Pops…. you can’t drink for shit. He was driving TO WORK one morning to the ole Mill when he was due in for 1st Shift (The Day Shift – 7am to 2 or 3pm) after having a few beers at a family function. I guess he supposedly veered his driver side tire over the center line by a few inches and an off-duty officer C.B.ed ahead to inform any officers in the area and when they stopped him and gave him the breathalyzer, he failed by a slight margin.

Dad hired an attorney to help him with the matter, the attorney was able to get Dad’s driving privileges to and from work restored during the mandatory suspension of his license.

Dad gave me his number.

Of all the other attorneys that tried to gouge me $2500, $3500 and up, just for a RETAINER FEE, Mr. F, Esq. asked for a modest amount of $1000 for a retainer. I liked the guys attitude, but I didn’t have a whole lot of faith in his competence in the short time I spoke with him over the phone, so I told him I would get him his money as soon as possible… even if I was about $800 bucks short…

I realized I had to do something drastic to save myself from all this bullshit caving in on me.

I had to miss my first house payment.

I’ve paid the house payment every month for about 3 years now, maybe it wasn’t exactly on time, but I managed to avoid any late fees and bad credit marks with my style, wit, and charm.


I’m a hustler.


but alas…
this was the end of the road.

With not paying my usual minimum payment, and with the local team in the playoffs that weekend, I worked my ASS off, and BANKED. It was a race against time… and fight against the impossible, a dream that I could almost touch, but it was just so far fetched… so out of reach.

It was me…. In the Ole Dirty Bug, all weekend long.

Pullin’ 50+ hours, breaking just about every traffic rule, dusting all the other drivers like they were standing still, and pushing the limits of possibility.

I will not fail. I will NOT fail.

I’ve come too far.

No Matter How Hard You Try, You Can’t Stop Me Now.

At the end of Battle on Sunday Night… I counted my change, pulled every dime from every savings I had..

When the dust had settled, I took a look at my total.


I called Mr. F the next morning to let him know.

“The check is in the mail.”

Mr. F pulled some strings… from what I understand, he has a friendship with the plaintiff’s attorney and a working knowledge of what the judge likes to see happen. He was able to stave off a trial, postpone any final judgement, speak to his neighbor who happens to be a Realtor, and get me some REAL help in selling this FUCKING curse of a house….

A means to an end…

Once and for all.

It was a huge Victory for me… I put off paying just about every bill I could, but I finally have an ally in this fight that can aid me with skills that I desperately need. Even if he is a hired gun, he’s MY hired gun. In this case… he’s more like a shield, preventing me from losing everything I’ve been killing myself over for so long now.

But it’s only a small battle that I’ve won. The War Rages on…

The Distance between House and Home can be Great…

I’ve managed to defer a slue of payments, so that helps out somewhat, but I have at least 3 creditors / bill collectors calling my phone all day, everyday, starting at 8:30am and sometimes as late as 10:30pm. I fear answering my phone and dealing with these asshole, not only because I have no money to give them, but because I honestly don’t want to know who it is and how much they want from me. Student Loans upon student loans, Homeboy Depot Credit Center, Country-crush Mortgage… I’ve had my phone shut off 3 times in the past 2 months over my bill getting to be over $400 for 3+ months of making little or no payment on it. My car needs a LOT of work, and don’t even get me started on the fact that I still need a side view mirror from that accident I got into on the clock back in Spring of last year! not to mention other miscellaneous body work on my car… I need new work clothes… I need groceries…

Like I said….

The War wages on.

I’m not backing down.

Not now, not ever.


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