Tennessee…

summer landscape road monteagle tennessee

Back in July of 2004, I was on my way up to “The Midwest Crib” to get my house ready to rent to a new set of what-would-be-assholes that don’t pay their rent either…

When I stopped in Tennessee…

I had made plans to hang out with this girl for the 4th of July weekend. That was the last time I’ve felt… this… Used. Her parents were out of town all weekend… so, they were planning a small party. I had talked to this girl for the better part of a month, and I was actually on the phone with her when I got onto I-24 West headed toward old Franklin Tennessee. (I lived there for a short while when I was a kid.)

Atop Mont Eagle…

Alas… was the end of the ’89 Honda CRX that I had for 4 years…

She finally died for good.

I can only speculate that me not needing to run a thermostat in her while I was in “The Sunshine State” caused my “Ironized Block Seal” treatment for the now 3 times blown head gasket to leak again and die… something about constant elevation changes downhill caused her to get hot… and she finally died for good…

-sigh-

But you know what…

If you’re going to go out… you may as well go out like that.

Attitude is the difference between an Ordeal… or an Adventure.

I’m totally stuck near mile marker 127 with my fucked up car… I called AAA (gotta have it!) and they took like 3 hours to get there… in the meantime, my new female friend took it upon herself to come drive 2 hours in her moms spare car to come get me. How’s THAT for a first impression? keep in mind that I had never even met this girl… but as it turns out, she had printed out my pic from “good ole HotOrNot.com” and put it in her cubicle at her telemarketing job and had been anxiously awaiting my arrival for some time.

She said she couldn’t stand it anymore, she was coming to get me.

I don’t know if I have ever been more flattered… Nor felt more completely helpless…

I was stranded in the middle of Tennessee in the pitch black darkness now… as the chick I’ve never met, raced the tow truck guy… With nothing to do, but talk on the phone and listen to music. Fuck She got there first. Which was pretty cool, this cute lil shorty gets out of this little red car like my angel…

I don’t know if she got there first because the tow truck guy sucks, or because she hauled ass, but either way…

She was like… damn…

How awesome is this girl right now?

We kinda started to unpack the car and load hers up… we actually ran out of room, which totally sucked.

Meaning that if the CRX was completely dead, I’d have to hunt the car down to the yard and all that without any method of my own transport somewhere DEAD in Tennessee to get the rest of my shit. … I got to know this chick fairly well, very quickly. She was a lil hard case but I liked her all the same…

But… (of course there’s a but…)

Her cell phone was ringing off the chain with calls that she didn’t answer… well… I think it doubled the number of guys she actually DID answer the phone for and had a conversation with during the “2 1/2 hours if you’re NOT hauling ass” trip back to her house …. in the middle of NOTHING.

Fuck…

It’s not like I can just walk to a hotel or something if shit goes bad… and now I’ve got tons of my shit with me… how am I getting that back home?

Yet… I actually had a great weekend in light of all that shit, not that it didn’t stress me out at all, but…

Hakuna Matata.

In fact, half of the pics I have posted right now on my profile are from that weekend. It’s rare for me to find a girl who wants to take my picture and only my picture… no one else, just me.

Anyway…

Monday rolls around… and her parents come home from partying at their friends’ cabin somewhere in some corner of the universe that no one but them know where it is… and someone rats out the party… but the girl I’m with takes most of the blame for it… apparently she was already on the rocks in the first place. -sigh- So I’m staying in a hotel… never had any confrontation with her parents… I let her do her thing… and we ended up staying in the Hotel together…

since… she “more or less” got kicked out of her house…

when it rains… it pours…

At least they still let me get my Papa John’s Discount in Tennessee.

-grin-

The glass is half full still right? I mean… here I am in Tennessee with a lil cute Tennessee chick swimming on a night that ends up in pouring down rain… eating Papa John’s, with no clue what the hell to do. God… I do love a good adventure. And the blow jobs were GREAT! … After some other little side stories suitable for the hardback edition of this blog entry, we settled on this plan:

Get her car fixed with a new Radiator and Timing belt,
drive back 700 miles to my apartment.
Get my other car and make some more money for a few weeks…
come back to the Midwest Crib with chick
and go from there.

crazy?

you bet your ass

but I had fun.

Life is for living.

When I got back to the South, we now both had cars… so… feel free to try and start the life you talked about starting… anytime… any day… instead of sit on your ass in my apartment all day talking online to your fuckin’ groupie bitches that just want to hook up with you, at least run the dishwasher maybe.. especially if your going to use the last clean dishes to make you food and have to come home from work to it… I ain’t yer bitch I went through a few weeks of killing myself at work to get back on track with the plan to take care of the Midwest property… and planning a quick drop off of her as well…

It’s funny how there were so many other things that happened that were adventures in themselves… that I haven’t even mentioned… my blogs… they are only a fraction of my real life… I’m not sure how I feel about that… but I wanted to at least mention that I was moving out of my old apartment as I was headed to Ohio.

My lease was up… and I was just about broke…

So I lived in Ohio for a little while…

fuck, I may as well live in the house I pay the fucking mortgage for…

Well…

things got complex after I dropped her off at her door step…

but I ended up leaving and headed to back to the Midwest while she got her shit together in Tennessee until she could save up enough cash to room up with another friend of mine down in Florida, since I was moving in with my uncle when I got done with all this psuedo-home ownership garbage…

Puh. I had pretty much figured out that she would never make it, but I encouraged her all the same.

Silly girl…

Somehow this girl ended up costing me so much money… and it’s not like I HAD to spend it, but I definitely played the sucker.

After I left her… she had called me and started to kind of figure out that it bothered me she went to see the main dude she was chatting with online all day from my house while I was at work… for about 2 or 3 weeks.. not even an hour after I left her there. She professes her love to me. Again… and swears she made a mistake in going and hanging out with the guy. Please don’t hate me Justin. The thing was… I already knew what was up. My pizza man exterior hides my secret weapon… intellect. Don’t think for one second I’m about to trust a bitch… don’t think I don’t know every key that gets pressed on my keyboard right down to the shit you started to say…. and deleted it before you sent something else through an IM. oh yea… every fucking button so as she lies to me… I never bothered to tell her I knew she was lying. Kinda funny how far out of hand honesty gets when you pretend to believe lies.

-grin-

Fuck a bitch.

She got all weird on me and I didn’t feel like talking to her anymore. I just got off the phone, and hauled ass up North. well… I got to my northern destination, and about 12 hours after I was there, I get a phone call from my grandma to my aunts house where i was drinkin’ sum brewskies n tokin that EwwwwwwwwwwwE!

She tells me this girl is in my hometown, just a few miles away… and she is looking for ME.

Holy shit.

haha… a few days later I ended up having her bent over the living room floor on her hands and knees butt naked in an empty house and i left the front door cracked about 12 inches… Some dude knocks and stares at my ass with her legs wrapped around me. Busted. In my own home even. Fuck He was looking for the loser boyfriend of the tenant I kicked out because he owed him money. after a few more days, I had to send her on her way… she was seriously slowing me down fixing up my house, painting it and all that… she was just a little too much a good thing… a distraction that I couldn’t say no to haha. I’m such a guy…

-sigh-

I finally got the house ready to rent, so I hit the road back to Florida to make some money… I was flat ass broke again. But… Stinky had escaped while I was following Tennessee girl dropping her off… and I can’t be without my baby… I just didn’t have time for her to come around and come back to the house for food… so… I decided to come back… it was like this girl was not going to go away… she hadn’t even found my cat yet before she left for Ohio either… but her parents (who just LOVED me by the way…) did find her.

 

Kick ass.

-pauses to reach over and stroke the Slinkerbutt-

I stopped in again, got my cat, and with much resistance, I left for Life at the Uncle’s…

Strange how it was going right back to the same place I lived in when I first moved to South… kinda like… damn… I’m getting nowhere! But… that was the last time I saw her. She never did save any money to come down here… and I called her on a few other lies and finally get so frustrated with her lying to me… I finally said: “Look… I know… you… are FULL of shit.” and she continued to lie… If that’s love, count me out. So… in the long run… I was nothing more than a way out for her. And the thing is… I really started to care about this girl… she made me get all angry at the world for awhile again… I don’t get upset when a girl fucks with me unless she hurts me. I burn. I have been getting my shit together ever since… or at least trying anyway. But with the events in my life as of late… I look back on what happened in Tennessee… and I think to myself…

This ain’t shit.

#17721136

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