Why Do I Even Bother?


I met this girl through good ole HotOrNot.com ….
(I have lots of stories that start like that.. and end like this for that matter)
I honestly can’t remember her name right now, and i couldn’t be happier about it…
I had all day sunday off work after I SMOKED it at work all weekend with my secret weapon… the VW Turbo S 6-Speed with K&N air filter and a Korn CD blairing through the sunroof


anyway, I BANKED with the busy weekend… so… naturally after one busts his or her ASS working all weekend, and all week for that matter, they are tired… I’m allowed to be tired, Until I go crazy and get the Giant “S” tattooed on my chest, I’ll sleep in on Sundays, fuck the world. Sunday is mine.


I get up at about 1pm and help with building a storage shed for all my shit at the new place that I’m officially moved into. After watching my team lose another heart-breaker…..


I drank a few more beers and passed out. Typically, I’d be talking on my cell all night till the battery goes dead to some girl that has caught my interest somehow… but… my phone was crushed in a door jam during the tail end of me moving all my shit from my uncles house… as a Pizza guy, and a very VERY single guy, that fucking sucks man… anyway, I haven’t been able to use my phone for about 3 days now, I’m hoping to find a camera phone for under $200 – prefferably Sanyo, could I jump off on any MORE tangents? ok back to the whole point of the story… I got this call this girl I met from hotorhot that lives near the area about a week ago…

Chris! fuck, I DO remember her name… Christina,



Drama Girl is Drama crazy-girlShe was over at The local concert venue with some “FRIENDS” seeing some shitty ass band (I’m not a big fan of the mob of trendy pussies that hang out there that they like to be called “bands”, with a few limited list of exceptions) Then she calls me while she is standing in the middle of the concert all upset over something… and she tells me she wants me to call her back in a few and act like her grandma died or something… now… I JUST gave this girl my number like 24 hours ago, and now shes wanting me to do some shit like that while I’m in the middle of a shift? This was around 9pm on a weekday, we lock up at 10pm and do delivery only after that, so I was like, “hey, if you are as fucked up as you say you are, and you really want to get out of there THAT BAD, why not come see me at work?” The concert hall about 30 blocks from where I work… after I SCREAMED it like 2145 times over her talking and the band playing in the background, she shows up just as we locked up, and I let her in. I had to do my thing and make my money, but she just kept on TALKING and TALKING and TALKING to everyone at work… I could tell they were all like “fuck, just shoot me now dude!” by the expressions on ALL their faces, haha. So I say, “hey? want to ride with me on these deliveries?” I’m really not supposed to do that, but your not supposed to make a right on red without coming to a complete stop first either…
as I was leaving on my runs, my manager stops me and says “Tell her that I can’t let her back in unless she shows us some titties.” haha I love my job, While I personally would never have that thought, I appreciate his ambition. anyhow… I go on a double, and she never let me get a word in edge-wise. She finally started saying, “Im gunna get sick…” over and over and over again…. I mean… how much can you really get to know someone with sooooo much drama, mentally, physically, emotionally, and even geographically? When I pulled into the store parking lot, she jumped out and ran to her car and took off… and I never saw her again…
Now… sadly… this is no where near the worst experience I ever had with women, ECSPECIALLY women I’ve met from hotornot, haha. And if the saga of Christina would have ended there, maybe it would have been for the best… but alas… no… she IMs me while im at work one day, and asks me something like, “Do you ever want to talk to me again?” I got home and passed out as I often do, sometimes still in mid clothing removal… my roommate has already made fun of me falling asleep half in uniform and hanging off the bed with my keys still in hand… I never wrote her a message back, I called her the next night instead. I left a voicemail message because she didnt answer her phone, and I said something to the effect of:

“Hey, just calling to say hi, see how your doing. I wasn’t sure if you made it home ok the other night but I saw that you IMed me and figured you were ok, call me back if you want. Talk to you later.”

I figured… what the hell… I’ve made some really shitty 1st impressions in my day, and she didn’t really do anything other than bring her drama along with her and her motor mouth… maybe she was just THAT coked up and doesn’t always act like that…

ha… blind optimism…

I finally talked to this girl about an hour or so ago online after I woke up from my beer buzz nap…. and after the conversation.. I thought to myself… I have GOT to immortalize this whole experience… so… think of me what you may, but this is it, raw and uncut, for better or worse:
Her: why did you call me the other night?
Her: you there?
Her: i dont get my viocemails
Her: so i dont know what you left me
Her: i know now isnt hte best time
Her: to ask
Her: but id like to know
Her: and im not talking about in the very near future
Her: i jsut want to know what you think of me *** “Irkalla84” signed off at Mon Dec 13 01:04:49 2004. *** “Irkalla84” signed on at Mon Dec 13 01:22:17 2004. *** “Irkalla84” signed off at Mon Dec 13 01:48:41 2004. *** “Irkalla84” signed on at Mon Dec 13 01:52:40 2004.
Her: hey, i dont know whether to delete you off my BL… you dont seem like you want to talk to me
Her: thats all you
Her: but let me know *** “Irkalla84” signed off at Mon Dec 13 02:14:30 2004. *** “Irkalla84” signed on at Mon Dec 13 02:14:38 2004.
Me: you there?
Me: i just woke up randomly in the night
Me: dont you hate that? when you gotta work all fuckin night too blah
Me: anyway, i think you are ok, you just had a rough night to be meeting someone for the first time
Her: whats that supposed to mean
Me: have you tried to call me in the last 72 hours?
Her: no
Me: well you were pretty fucked up from what you tell me
Me: k, cuz my phone got crushed in the moving process
Her: whats wrong with being fucked up
Her: i was fully operational
Me: lol nothin
Her: i only got sick towards the end
Me: well you
Me: yea lol
Her: and even then, i never did get sick
Me: and you left in a great big hurry
Me: lol well thats good
Me: i was kinda curious if you made it home and everything ok
Her: it was either that or start noddin at the weel
Her: well you couldve called me
Her: if you were THAT CONCERNED
Me: lol i did
Me: and left a voicemail
Her: a few days later
Me: are you like… mad at me?
Me: you seem like you have a grudge or something, did i do or say something?
Her: im not mad
Her: you havent wantd tot talk to me
Me: ok, cuz you dont seem the same since you met me
Me: lol you are taking it way to personally
Her: so fine
Her: if you dont want to talk to me whatever
Her: ive IMed you more than a few times
Her: you couldve at least said i dont want to talk to you
Her: so i wouldnt have wasted my time
Me: why would i say that?
Me: lol
Me: why do you think i dont want to talk to you?
Me: i leave me computer signed on when im not at home all the time
Her: obvoiusly you dont want ot talk to me
Me: i leave for job #1 at 10-11am and get home at 3 or 4 am
Me: 4 out of 5 weekdays, thats my life
Me: then i work ALL day saturday and the only day i have off is sunday
Her: if you only leave the puter signed on, then it would be listed as idle
Me: nope
Her: its not my fault you work those hours
Me: i tweak it so it doesnt say that
Me: i know its not, lol
Me: but what im trying to say is, im not home all the time
Me: and i dont have a lot of time to talk
Me: if i didnt want to talk to you all i would have to do is click ignore
Her: well if you “donht have time to talk” just tell me so i wont bother you
Me: and i wouldnt be typing to you at 4am
Me: ok look
Me: im talking to you now
Her: finally`
Me: you are assuming i dont want to talk to you WHILE IM TALKING OT YOU
Me: dude
Me: chill out
Me: i AM talking to you
Her: youre the one screanming and youre telling me to chilll out
Me: i know its not every day or every second
Me: but what do you want?
Me: im not screaming
Me: lol
Her: i dont need to talk to you every day or every second
Her: im not need
Me: ok lol
Her: needy
Me: then why are you so upset that its been a few days?
Me: no wait
Me: dont answer that
Me: how bout
Me: hi
Me: hows was your weekend?
Her: you really have an inflated sense of importance
Me: lol
Me: ok
Her: iyou didnt talkt to me for a few days
Her: whatever fine
Her: have a nice life
Me: lol
Me: so you dont want to talk to me anymore?
Her: why should i>?
Her: you dont wnat ot talk to me
Her: so why waste tiem
Me: o my god
Her: peace out
Her: have fun being igly
Her: ugly*

Me: lol thanks *** “Irkalla84” signed off at Mon Dec 13 04:02:04 2004. =============================

I personally though the typo correction was a great way to end a relationship, I mean… if you are going to do it… you may as well do it right!

Why Do I Even Bother Sometimes?

The irony really, was that she looked VERY different from her photos online. She wasn’t a bad looking girl, but the way she posted all the pictures in her online profile WITHOUT her freckles. I never did understand why people misrepresent themselves, because then when she meets people, they are a little “OH WOW” about it. This girl was COVERED in freckles, and obviously has some security issues. I’ve dated “that girl” before. I’m good on that.

WhyDoIEvenBother CatAt least I have my Trigger… shes about the only thing that keeps me from losing my mind sometimes… If I could find a girl even HALF as loyal, I’d fall head over heels…


one more week of the insanity that has become my life… and I get to hit the road in the Pimp Ride… I live for that shit man… I wonder what kind of trouble I can get myself into? -grin-


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