I Am Not Going To Lie

I'm Not Going To Lie - I Am a Quitter

It has been a VERY long time since I’ve written a new blog. I’ve been so busy lately, trying to put this new life of mine together… for about 6 years now.

Man…

6 years?

It feels like it hasn’t been very long, yet it SOUNDS like a completely different era.

Different lifetimes even…

As I put together all my old writing, and spend a little time to try and spruce them up from there original “written while I was a Maniac Pizza Man” form, into something a little more grammar-worthy (Keep in mind I did only say “a little”…), I think about how many lives I had lived in my blogger hiatus.

Some of these stories I’ve told about myself years ago, were deliberately written at the time my fingertips pressed the keys on a keyboard. I KNEW that one day down the road, I would re-read these words that I was frantically banging out to the screen one day. I knew I’d laugh at myself, and may even say “What the hell, man… What were you THINKING?!”.

Yup. Nailed it.

But I’m not going to lie…

I’m A Quitter.

I am actually cringing more than I ever thought I would. I recall that psycho-mania and doubts with depression, but being so ridiculously fueled by “Fuck You!” isn’t a way of life that I could see myself living today.

That said… Am I really any better off now than I was without all that nervous, anxious energy?

I don’t have that kind of emotional fitness anymore these days… not that my emotions were really all that stable or anything… ever. But more now, than ever before. I look around me at my peers and consider… maybe I’m a little better off than I thought. But as far as the emotional gymnastics go… No. I can’t. Really. I just can’t. I know I used to *THINK* I understood what the cliche “I’m too old for this” used to mean… but these days, it means something completely new, different & unpredicted.

I feel compelled to finish so many of the scattered stories I began, or had not met the end to last I blogged. And perhaps even more interesting, I have so many new stories to tell.

Some Stories are Awesome - I'm Not Going To Lie - I Am a Quitter     I'm Not Going To Lie - I'm a Quitter - GoldenGateBridge

Some are so AMAZINGLY, Incredibly good.

 

Some just plain weird (Most of them, actually)…

I'm Not Going To Lie - I'm a Quitter - Just Pain Weird

Some…

a complete dumper fire.

I'm Not going To Lie - I'm a Quitter - Dumpster Fire

This isn’t me proclaiming my return to writing blogs, oh noooooo…

But here I am. Right now. Doing it anyway.

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